Today is Good Friday, and Christians around the world are celebrating Holy Week, the most important week of the year in Christianity which culminates in Easter Sunday. Jews are celebrating a holy week as well with Passover. And Ramadan is being celebrated by Muslims around the world, the holiest month of the year for Islam. Right now we’re preparing to celebrate our 4th straight Easter in Thailand, and in addition to an Easter basket, we also have a small Ramadan lantern on our kitchen table now, and looking at it always makes me think about the five years we lived in Alexandria, Egypt.
We are a small multicultural, interfaith family of 3, and one of the things we love about living abroad is being able to celebrate so many different cultural and religious holidays with our friends, new and old. When we lived in Egypt, it was a treat to be able to take part in both Easter and Ramadan celebrations, and interestingly at that time, we even got to celebrate Easter and Christmas twice as much as my friends and family back home. Why, you might ask? I’m not referring to time differences but rather the fact that Christians in Egypt are Orthodox Christians, and Orthodox Churches like the Greek Orthodox Church use the Julian calendar to calculate when Easter should be celebrated, whereas other churches like those in the United States use the Gregorian calendar instead. So when we lived in Egypt, we had the opportunity to follow both calendars (why not, right?!) and therefore could celebrate Easter and Christmas twice each year instead of once. But in the case you’re wondering, no, we didn’t give our son Christmas gifts twice… fortunately for us he never thought to ask! 😉
When it comes to Easter, many folks around the world will celebrate with a delicious Easter brunch this weekend, and when it comes to Ramadan, there’s an amazing feast called Eid al-Fitr, or the Festival of the Breaking of the Fast, which ends the holy month and is expected to fall on April 21st this year. No doubt there are so many different stories I could share about our experiences with Ramadan but one thing’s for sure— food is central to many of these memories. And that may surprise some readers who know Ramadan primarily as a month of fasting. So allow me to explain.
When we first experienced Ramadan for ourselves in 2015, all I could talk about with my family and friends back home in the US was how impressed I was that people actually did fast from dawn to dusk— including no water, I added for emphasis— for a whole month! As a new observer, not drinking water during daylight hours seemed a bit extreme to me, especially when you live somewhere hot and Ramadan falls during the summer months as it did when we lived there (the timing of Ramadan changes each year because it’s based on lunar not solar cycles). Folks who are sick or have other conditions don’t have to fast, but I learned that fasting has many benefits for those who are able to do so, not only physically but also in spiritual ways and as a way for people to feel more connected with one another. After all, when you feel hungry and thirsty yourself, you can’t help but empathize with folks who are less fortunate than you and be reminded to share food and drink with those in need.
Ramadan is quite different from anything I had experienced with own religion. Sure, Christians celebrate Lent which, like Ramadan, is a time of reflection, prayer, giving and fasting. The duration of Lent is a similar length of time too—40 days (well technically 46, since the Sundays don’t count), meant to represent the 40 days Jesus spent reflecting in the desert after his baptism. But as far as fasting goes, Lent for me as a child basically meant eating fish instead of meat on Fridays. And as a boy growing up in Cincinnati, Ohio, this meant going to Frisch’s Big Boy Restaurant with my family on many Fridays during Lent. It was the one time of the year we all ordered the same thing— the fish sandwich— and for me, it was the only time of year that I’d go to Frisch’s and NOT order a burger. As a kid, abstaining from eating meat for a day a week felt like a really big deal. And in addition to meatless Fridays, we were also told that we should give up something that we really liked for the duration of Lent, like sweets. But as a kid, this held about the same weight as a New Year’s resolution and lasted not nearly as long. 😉
Anyway, back to Egypt. Our first Ramadan was really an adventure and we curiously took it all in. One of the things that literally caught our eyes first were the wonderful lanterns called fanous (from the Greek word “phanós” meaning light). The lanterns vary in sizes and color, from huge illuminated ones made out of wood, to colorful cloth ones that line the streets, to small plastic ones that fit in the palm of your hand. These lanterns are found everywhere and brighten the streets in a beautiful and celebratory way, reminding me of the lights of Diwali and Christmas too.
As far as the food goes, we quickly learned what is means when practically an entire nation breaks the fast together each evening at the same time, and I’d like to share one of our first experiences with this. It was the middle of June and one of the very first days of Ramadan when my family and I decided to head to the older part of the city to get dinner. We boarded a tram (think rickety streetcar loaded with personality) and paid for our tickets which cost us a total of 1 Egyptian pound (just a few US cents!!)
The carriage we sat in that particular evening was unusually empty but we didn’t think anything about it. We were on our way and had passed a few stations when, just before the sun started to set, the tram abruptly came to a screeching halt, mid-station. The trams of Alexandria don’t have a PA system so there wasn’t any announcement made about why the sudden stop (though our lack of Arabic skills would have voided the utility of any announcements anyway!) My family and I just looked at each other and assumed there must have been some kind of technical problem with the tram. So we just waited. And we waited some more. And after about 15 minutes or so, we realized we were the only passengers remaining on the tram.
We decided to walk through the empty carriages ahead just to check things out and soon discovered that in one of the cars, the conductor and ticket collectors were all sitting down and eating together. They graciously motioned for us to join them in their dinner, and we could tell that they were genuinely offering to share their food with us, but we didn’t want to impose and, with my hand on my heart, I smiled with appreciation and we all carefully got out of the stopped tram. We quickly realized the streets were completely empty too and there wasn’t a taxi to be found, so we just ended up taking an unexpected walk. And to this day I can still remember that walk, because I remember how absolutely quiet it was! For us, this became one of the most magical things about Ramadan— the incredible peace and quiet that occurs every sunset when folks come together to break the fast. Everyone is busy eating, so the normally busy streets are deserted, the horns are silenced (hallelujah!!) and a bustling city of over 5 million people is absolutely and uncharacteristically still.
By the time of our second Ramadan, I also tried to fast during the daylight hours, mainly out of solidarity with my Muslim friends and colleagues. But I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t an especially good faster. That said, it didn’t matter at all to my Egyptian friends if I was fasting or not— they always kindly invited my family and I to join in the meal to break the fast. And in case it never dawned on you before, that’s why Muslims can call a dinner a breakfast! In Arabic, this meal at sunset is called iftar, and it’s a wonderful meal to experience for many reasons. The most striking thing to me, as I’ve already mentioned, is that everyone starts to eat at the same time. There’s just something beautiful about a whole country breaking bread together simultaneously.
Customarily the food that’s usually eaten first to break the fast is dates, the sweet fruit grown throughout the Middle East, North Africa, South Asia and even the southwestern United States. Often people soak the dates in milk the day before, but you can also eat them with a glass of milk or just plain. The reason dates are eaten first stems from the teachings of Prophet Muhammad who said that you should break the fast with dates if possible, but if no dates are available, then you should break the fast with water instead. And there are typically plenty of juices on the table too. Kharoub, or carob juice, is a popular traditional Ramadan drink in Egypt, and tamarind juice is popular choice too. My personal favorite was sobia, a chilled drink made from rice, milk, coconut milk, sugar and vanilla. Yum!
Every year my wife’s colleagues and families all shared a gorgeous iftar together at the garden of the office, and her colleagues also invited us to share these meals at their homes as well. To say each iftar is a feast is an understatement— it’s almost like having Thanksgiving every night for a month, but with a far more diverse spread. (And that’s why, of course, people fasting can still again weight!) It would take another post to fully describe the typical iftar menu, but let me just give you the basics. The meal traditionally starts with a soup followed by a carb (usually a rice or pasta, or both) and also some mahshi, which means stuffed vegetables. Americans like to stuff bell peppers, but Egyptians will stuff eggplant, zucchini, tomatoes and grape leaves as well. And the stuffing itself is made up of rice, crushed tomatoes and several spices. You’ll also have a protein (often lamb, chicken or fish) as well as one of the world’s super foods— foul (pronounced “fool”) mudammas, which is fava beans stewed in a bunch of spices. And of course you should definitely save some room for dessert!! The special pastries during Ramadan are katayef and konafa, and just take my word that they are both delectable and super sweet. The latter was our son’s favorite, especially when the konafa was paired with Nutella. Heavenly!
When it came to my favorite location to enjoy iftar, that was an easy choice— the beach! If you didn’t already know, Alexandria is fronted by the Mediterranean Sea, and rows and rows of tables and chairs are lined up on the beach every day during Ramadan so that folks can break the fast together on the sand. An hour or so before sunset, the beach is already packed with families and friends sitting next to each other, and just as the sun sinks below the horizon, a call to prayer is announced and then a beautiful alfresco meal commences.
My iftars on the beach were most often at a stretch called Stanley Beach, with a beautiful backdrop of the iconic Stanley Bridge you see above. When we lived in Egypt I had the privilege of teaching an English conversation course with my dear friend Kareem, and during Ramadan, members of English club as well as other English clubs met at Stanley Beach to enjoy iftar together. And I’ll never forget that our main dishes of choice were pizzas from Papa John’s! Yes, they have Papa John’s in Egypt!! And yes, Egyptians love pizza too! 🙂
These were really special nights. You see, the evenings come fully alive during Ramadan, and everyone including the little ones stay up late and enjoy each other’s company. For a whole month people basically stay awake all night, and the carnival atmosphere is very welcome after all the quiet mornings and afternoons. After all the pizza and all the delicious Egyptian dishes too, friends and I played so many games on the beach, including that one where you have a balloon tied on a string around your ankle and you try to pop the balloons of your friends before your own balloon is popped. Yes, so many games are universal, as is music, and our gang sang English and Arabic songs together well into the night, accompanied by an Egyptian guitarist, a German violinist, and the sounds of chatter and laughter all around. I can’t forget the sounds of the small waves breaking on the shore too, with the occasional kid or kid-at-heart jumping into the sea to the delight of those watching on. I still remember thinking that I should write a song about these evenings someday. I haven’t done that yet, but I know the title would be Ramadan Nights. 🙂
It’s true that no matter where you are in this world, food is not only essential, it’s a source of connection as well. And that leaves me with a final little story that I want to share on the topic.
When we first lived in Alexandria, Egypt, Kai was 4 years old and our cute little guy started his education at Learning Tree Pre School, and his closest friend was a cute girl named Talia. After graduating from Learning Tree (yes, there was a graduation ceremony, and yes it was adorable!), Kai started elementary school at ELM International School (another tree-themed school), and his best friend there was named Musa.
On many afternoons after school, Kai would get a ride with Musa to his house where the boys would play Minecraft or the occasional Kung Fu Panda on his Playstation 3. But when it was our turn to host a playdate, I would pick the boys up and walk with them down the hill to our place as we were easy walking distance from school. We never went straight back home though because we always made a little detour on our way, and that was to our favorite neighborhood donut shop. This became a ritual of ours and I loved it as much if not more than the boys.
In an attempt to moderate their sugar rushes, I allowed them one donut and one fresh squeezed juice each. But these visits to TBS Bakery Shop weren’t really about the donuts but the chance to sit down with the boys and ask them about their day. They were mostly excited for the donuts, sure, but I also got 15 to 20 minutes to ask them what happened in each class, what they had for lunch, what they did during their playground breaks, and what surprised them. And often they shared funny stories and even some interesting insights that I’m sure they wouldn’t have shared if we had gone straight back home to play. That connection alone was so worth it. And I loved that they liked to make donut mustaches and smiles like this:
Fast forward to today: Musa and Kai remain best of friends and are often online together (playing games of course). They’re a great pair and it’s hard to believe that both will be teenagers soon. But I’m so grateful they are still connected and I look forward to seeing how their friendship evolves. And who knows? Maybe next time we meet, we’ll go grab some donuts together and talk about our days.