Ahhhhh, Facebook memories— stop it already! If you’re like me and see those memories from X number of years ago on Facebook, we may be feeling the same feels right now. Because it’s exactly at this point in 2020 that we don’t necessarily want to be reminded of how nice those reunions at the holidays were pre-pandemic. Yes, all of those familiar settings and happy moments, with family and friends not having to worry about having their arms wrapped around each other— these pictures would normally provide a lovely trip down memory lane, but this year they sting a bit.
When you live away from your home country, there’s a good chance you get really excited about the last month of the year. Because you’re going home! Or at least getting somewhere else. And the whole process of getting home might start months in advance as you scour the web searching for the best airfares until that time when you check and recheck that flight itinerary before finally pressing that big “BOOK NOW” button. If you’re American, you may be booking tickets for the end of November instead for Thanksgiving, that special long weekend that focuses on the 3 f’s: family, food and football (the American variety). One thing’s for sure, no matter how far away you are from home and no matter how many stops you have to take to get there, the end of the year is for many just like the Andy Williams song says— the most wonderful time of the year. The holidays, or the holy days, are that special time of the year when the whole world actually seems to slow down. Well, maybe not so much in terms of shopping, but all over the world schools close, work commitments calm down and many employers give their employees time off so they can celebrate the holidays together with their families. And for those of us who live far away from home, the holidays are possibly the only time you get to reunite with those folks who mean the world to you, as time, distance, and expenses make just going home for the weekend impossible.
But as we all know all too well, 2020 is far from a normal year, and it’s not just us folks living abroad who are unable to travel home. As the pandemic continues to spread at alarming rates in many communities around the world, most are not and definitely should not be traveling home. But because many folks are traveling and ignoring advice not to gather in large groups, the American Surgeon General Dr. Jerome Adams is begging Americans to put health and safety first and make Thanksgiving small and smart this year. No doubt a Zoom or Skype Thanksgiving is far from ideal, but it’s certainly much safer to stay at home with the ones you normally share a home with. It just makes all the sense in the world. I know I’m probably preaching to the choir here, but until vaccines are widely available and widely administered, it’s so important we do our best to not be one of the reasons COVID-19 continues to spread.
So this brings me to the title of this reflection— having an attitude of gratitude. Though 2020 has been for many a year of uncertainty and disappointments, that’s exactly why it’s so important to have an attitude of gratitude this year. Because here’s the truth— if you’re healthy, you are blessed. If you have food on the table, you are blessed. If you have people who care about you and people you care for, you are blessed. And that’s why our family decided to make this month an “Attitude of Gratitude” month. With Thanksgiving, November is often the month that Americans find themselves especially reflective, and while we may reflect on what and who we are thankful for and share these thoughts on social media or silently in prayer, my wife and I thought it would also be great if we wrote these reasons out on paper, for each of us in our trio to see and be reminded of each day.
So throughout this month, we’ve taken a minute or two out of each day to reflect on one reason we were grateful that day, or one thing we’re grateful for in general, and write it on a homemade calendar on the family room wall. We ended up using an unopened bag of Thanksgiving stickers we got at Target a couple years back to give our calendar of thoughts a seasonal touch, and as of today, Thanksgiving Day, we already have 78 reasons we are grateful, including things like the weekends (Kai), encouragement (Ako) and trees (me). No doubt it’s been fun and rewarding coming together to create a visual display of our gratitude, and I hope we have started a new family tradition with it.
There are hundreds of reasons, big and small, to be grateful. And sure, the idea of a Zoom Thanksgiving might sound ridiculous, and it may be something you never want to repeat, but if you can see your family today and hear each other’s voices and laughter across miles and time zones, isn’t that something to be grateful for? In fact, understanding how important this day is, Zoom is removing its 40 minute cap on meetings for free users today to make these connections happen, uninterrupted.
What are you grateful for today?
Hello Brian, Ako, & Kai,
This Thanksgiving is certainly not the same, but I am so happy to know that all of you are healthy, wealthy, & wise. Brian, I am also grateful for the beautiful pillow cover & flowers you sent. The house looks so good & your dad & I are feeling very happy to be together & feeling well.
We skyped with Jenny & Jesse this morning at 10am EST. Your dad forgot that it is tomorrow that we agreed to skype at 10am EST. Oh well!, it’s called getting older. Our memories fail us sometime. I fixed a Strada (breakfast casserole) for our breakfast this morning. I took a picture, Ha,Ha,. You are rubbing off on me. This one was a little different than the one I fixed for you when you were home. I’m bragging, but it was good. We will have left overs for awhile.
I often think how hard it was for my mother preparing all the meals for us. She did all the work of preparing a turkey with dressing with all the fixings. She didn’t have a dishwasher or any of the conveniences that I take for granted. Cooking, cleaning, & doing laundry was so much harder for her. Today especially I will keep her in my prayers. This is a season to remember all of the people who gave us so much. I am truly grateful to all the people in my life & especially to those who are no longer with us.
There is a country singer who wrote a song called “Always be grateful & Kind.” I love the words. He expresses in his song all the feelings that I am feeling. May you & your family stay as wonderful as you are now.
Love Mom
Oh gosh, I’m smiling from ear to ear and a little teary eyed too if I’m being honest. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and especially about Grandma. I so get what you’re saying… so much has gotten easier over the years and it’s easy to forget that those who came before us had the same emotions and many of the same human experiences but with very different circumstances. I’m so glad to hear about your strata too and can imagine how tasty it was… look forward to diggin’ in next time I’m home. And I love that my food photo taking has rubbed off on you too : )
Thanks again for always commenting on my posts and for just always being there. I cherish you and dad not only as parents but as best of friends too. Love you.
Tim McGraw’s song is always a reminder to enjoy the little things and not take anything for granted. There are so many in much worse straits. Just waking up each day is a blessing. Thank you Brian for sharing as alwqys.
Thanks so much for sharing this too. I’m going to play that song as soon as I get out of the Sky Train. 🙂
Seeing from afar how much the US has been struggling, and not just with politics or the pandemic, has made these kinds of intimate connections with friends and family even more important. Because as overwhelming as the big picture is, I find hope for America in these personal conversations and all the small acts of courage and kindness that go on every single day. And I pray as RFK said in South Africa 54 years ago that these small ripples of hope do become the currents that help break down the walls of injustice and also just simply help us lift each other up rather than bringing each other down.
Brian, Ako & Kai
Wow, this attitude of gratitude is great. In some ways (and at my first reading) it reminded me immediately of my GEA Six Sigma days with posted notes. If you are not familiar the concept is based on group participation Vs one or two people and the decision making becomes better with more involvement. Visualize 25 people in a room to review and make decisions on certain topics. Bingo…..lots of posted (notes) thoughts and ideas randomly submitted and in a standard process step, the thoughts are grouped. After hours or days of this there appears to be light.
And when that light shins the brightest in one direction it becomes easier to plan a process flow which leads to the best possible solution, given that you did not miss a very important piece of it. And I could ramble on, but, I’m done. LOVE WHAT YOU ARE DOING because we all are blessed to have great families who love and respect people not for what they have accumulated but for what they have given back. Love TT
Dad, I love your reflection on Six Sigma here and think it’s so interesting how it applies to so many different things in life. When you come to think of it, this idea of coming together and figuring out which direction to go forms the foundations of different cultures, religions and national identities too.
Thanks for always supporting me here and in everything else. You have often made things that seem impossible/improbable, like negotiating that move from Hawaii to Thailand, not only realistic but beneficial for everyone concerned. For that and so many other reasons you will always be my favorite father.
I’m so happy to slow down and read your thoughtful blog Brian! Thank you for encouraging us all to be grateful. May we not take our blessings for granted. I also appreciate your mom’s reflection on honoring our loved ones who have passed. I’ve been especially honoring intergenerational healing. Our ancestors survived many hardships and give us strength from their experiences. They also pass on wounds that we may heal in our lifetimes. I am grateful to deepen my awareness of my family tree and appreciation for our grand interconnections. Gigantic hugs!!!